Glimmers: Finding the Small Signals of Safety in Everyday Life

There are moments in the day when something quietly shifts. Your shoulders drop without you meaning to.Your breath deepens and for a second, things feel a little less tight — not because life suddenly became easy, but because your body found a brief sense of ease.

These moments are often so subtle that we barely register them. Yet for the nervous system, they matter deeply. In a world that moves fast, demands a lot, and rarely slows down for our biology, these small pauses can make the difference between constant strain and sustainable well-being.

From constant activation to nervous system language

These days, most of us have become familiar with the word trigger. It is often used to describe moments that feel uncomfortable, emotionally charged, or overwhelming. No wonder, as much of modern life keeps our nervous system in a state of ongoing activation. Notifications, deadlines, uncertainty, social expectations — none of these are inherently traumatic, but together they can leave the body feeling permanently “on” or "triggered" as we would say in pop-psychology.

In psychological contexts, however, a trigger refers more specifically to a stimulus that activates a trauma-related stress response, often quickly and involuntarily. Not every emotional reaction is a trigger — and understanding this distinction matters. Because alongside triggers, there is something equally real, equally biological, and far more supportive for everyday regulation: glimmers.

Triggers and glimmers: two sides of the same nervous system

Both triggers and glimmers work through the nervous system. The difference lies in the message they send.

• Triggers signal threat, pulling the body toward survival responses such as fight, flight, or freeze.

• Glimmers signal safety, gently supporting regulation, connection, and recovery.

Where triggers narrow our capacity, glimmers expand it.

Importantly, neither is about willpower. Both are automatic, body-based responses shaped by experience, context, and biology.

What exactly is a glimmer?

A glimmer is a small sensory, emotional, or relational cue that helps the nervous system register safety.

The term is used in trauma-informed and polyvagal-informed work to describe moments that support regulation — often quietly, often without us consciously labelling them at first.

Glimmers are not about forcing positivity. This is very important to understand. They don’t erase stress, pain, or difficulty. They simply tell the nervous system: this moment is safe enough.

And that message matters more than we often realise.

The science behind glimmers

Our nervous system is constantly scanning our internal and external environment for cues of safety or danger — a process known as neuroception (Stephen Porges). When safety cues are detected, the ventral vagal system becomes more active. This state supports:

• emotional regulation

• social engagement

• clearer thinking

• adaptability under stress

Glimmers are micro-signals that activate this system. They help balance activation caused by stressors and reduce the overall strain on the nervous system over time.

Research in stress physiology and trauma psychology consistently shows that frequent, small moments of regulation are more effective for long-term well-being than occasional, intensive interventions.

Why glimmers are intentionally small

Many people assume regulation requires big changes: long breaks, perfect routines, or complete calm. In reality, the nervous system learns through repetition, not intensity.

Glimmers work because they are:

• accessible in daily life

• compatible with busy, imperfect realities

• available even in challenging environments

They don’t demand a stress-free life — they support the capacity to move through a stressful one.

What glimmers can look like

Glimmers are highly individual, but often surprisingly ordinary:

• sunlight on your skin

• the smell of coffee, rain, or fresh air

• a song that slows your breathing

• eye contact that feels warm or respectful

• your pet seeking closeness

• a moment of clarity or competence

• laughter, even briefly

• feeling seen or understood

• a pause that feels grounding rather than empty

If a moment helps your body soften, your breath deepen, or your shoulders drop — it may be a glimmer.

How to find your own glimmers

Finding glimmers isn’t about creating something new. It’s about noticing what already supports your nervous system.

You might begin by gently asking:

• When during the day does my body feel a little more settled?

• What moments help me exhale without effort?

• Who or what helps me feel more like myself?

Pay attention to your body’s responses rather than your thoughts. Glimmers often show up as:

• slower breathing

• warmth

• a sense of ease

• softening in the chest or jaw

• a subtle feeling of connection

Over time, you can intentionally create more opportunities for these moments — not as a task, but as a form of nervous system literacy.

Glimmers are not coping strategies

It’s important to say this clearly. Glimmers are not techniques you use to “fix” stress or avoid difficult emotions. They are resources that support regulation alongside reality, not instead of it.

Unlike performance-based self-care, glimmers:

• don’t require discipline

• don’t depend on motivation

• don’t imply failure if they’re absent on hard days

They meet the nervous system where it is.

From constant activation to mental wealth

A resilient nervous system is not one that never reacts. It’s one that can move between activation and regulation with flexibility. By recognising both triggers and glimmers, we move away from fragility narratives and toward mental wealth — the capacity to respond, recover, and reconnect. Glimmers quietly build this capacity over time.

The takeaway

Triggers may be loud and immediate. Glimmers are often quiet and easy to miss. But it’s the accumulation of glimmers — not the elimination of stress — that supports long-term well-being. Sometimes, the smallest signals of safety are what allow us to keep going. And that is not weakness. That is biology working in our favour.