Resilience: What's the real deal?

When it comes to mental health, one term almost always comes up: resilience. It is often treated as a magic word when it comes to dealing with stress, crises, or difficult life circumstances. But precisely because resilience is everywhere, many myths and misunderstandings have grown around it. Let’s clear up these myths once and for all.

What Resilience Is Not

You may have heard statements like these in connection with resilience:

• “If someone becomes mentally ill, they just weren’t resilient enough.”

• “If you’re stressed, you simply need to try harder.”

• “A strong mindset is enough to get through any crisis.”

At first glance, these statements may sound motivating, and they are often meant that way – but they are simply wrong and stigmatizing. They turn resilience into a cure-all or, worse, a kind of grading scale for people: Those who are resilient are seen as strong and successful, while anyone experiencing mental health challenges is automatically labeled as “not strong enough.”

The reality: Even highly resilient people can experience mental health struggles. Resilience does not protect us from stressors – whether trauma, chronic stress, or illness – but it does help us regain stability after crises. Stressors can exceed our available protective factors, just as a strong immune system cannot always fend off a severe infection.

Resilience Is Not a Miracle Cure

Misconceptions about resilience can even be harmful:

• They create pressure to always be strong.

• They make us believe that seeking help is a sign of weakness.

• They overlook that external factors – such as working conditions, societal pressure, or financial insecurity – have a massive impact on mental health.

Practical resilience building means strengthening resources, seeking support, and taking care of yourself – step by step, without perfectionism. It’s not about self-optimization – we are human, not robots. It’s also not about mastering every crisis, but about realistically stabilizing ourselves and staying capable of action in the long term.

What Resilience Really Is

Resilience is not a superpower or a cure-all for stress. Furthermore, resilience doesn’t mean staying calm in every situation – that’s self-regulation. Helpful, yes, but not the same as resilience. So what is it, exactly? Scientifically, it is defined as the ability to stabilize, adapt, and ideally emerge stronger after stressful or challenging events.

Important: Resilience is not a fixed personality trait but a dynamic process. It arises from the interplay of internal factors – such as optimism, self-efficacy, and problem-solving skills – and external factors, such as stable relationships, social support, or fair life circumstances. (Masten, 2001; Luthar, Cicchetti & Becker, 2000)

Flexibility is key: Resilient people are not unshakable. They can adapt to changing conditions and develop strategies to navigate challenges. Even highly resilient individuals can be temporarily overwhelmed when protective factors are exceeded, such as during trauma or chronic stress, and may need support. (Bonanno, 2004)

Another important point: Resilience can be trained and strengthened. Mindfulness, regular self-care, social networks, and targeted training programs have been scientifically shown to enhance psychological resilience. (Robertson et al., 2015; Joyce et al., 2018)

In short, resilience does not mean that crises leave us untouched, but that we learn to process stress, recover, and deliberately use our internal and external resources.

Peer Experience: Resilience in Real Life

Even experts who have worked with mental health, mindfulness, and resilience for years experience challenging periods. Here’s a small personal example:

Despite my decades of knowledge in psychology, resilience, and mindfulness, I still encounter phases of anxiety, moments of overwhelm, and panic attacks that have accompanied me since my youth. This does not mean I am weak or “not resilient enough.” Resilience shows itself in how we recover from these moments, regain stability, and reclaim our strength.

This example illustrates: Resilience does not mean we are never overwhelmed, nor is it a permanent state we achieve once and then carry with us forever. It is a process that enables us to rise from stress, stabilize, and move forward – step by step, even after setbacks.

How to Strengthen our own Resilience in Everyday Life?

Resilience can be intentionally cultivated through small, actionable steps. It’s not about perfection or always being strong. Setbacks, failure, or difficult phases are part of resilience – recovering from a low point is exactly what matters.

1. Recognize and Activate Your Resources

• What internal strengths, supporters, hobbies, or routines have helped you through difficult situations in the past – even if you “failed” by your own standards? Note them to access them in stressful times.

  
  

2. Nurture Social Connections

• Friends, family, or colleagues form a stable network. Short check-ins or coffee meet-ups often work wonders – it’s okay and healthy to seek support, even during tough times.

  
  

3. Build Self-Care Rituals

• Breaks, breathing exercises, walks, or evening rituals create small islands of recovery. Even small steps count – resilience grows through consistency, not heroic feats.

  
  

4. Shift Perspective

• Questions like “What can I influence right now?” or “What have I already achieved?” help regain a sense of agency. Acknowledge what didn’t work – and know that you can still regain functionality.

  
  

5. Seek Professional Support

• Therapy, coaching, or support groups are not signs of weakness, but effective tools. Seeking help in time is itself a sign of resilience.

6. Keep Body and Mind in Balance

• Movement, sleep, and nutrition greatly affect psychological resilience. Small changes, like daily walks or sufficient sleep, strengthen the ability to recover from stress.

Conclusion

Resilience is valuable and important, but it is not a miracle cure for a life without crises or mental health challenges. It is not a measure of a person’s worth or strength, but a skill we can foster individually and collectively.

Importantly, resilience is shown not only in successes, but in how we respond to setbacks. Every phase in which we recover, get back up, and continue is proof of resilience.

The more we dismantle misunderstandings and stigma around resilience, the more realistically and effectively we can support mental health – step by step, without superhero expectations.